Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Penis Files - (SATIRE/VIDEO)

As the election rapidly approaches, a frightening and dangerous bone of contention has been introduced: the male penis. Men want one AND they want it COVERED by Obamacare. They want you, the taxpayer, to pay for the ability to not only HAVE a penis, but to ENJOY it. We need to pull the plug on this conversation and make sure it is not thrust upon the voters. Americans don’t work so that their hard earned dollars can be dedicated to the sole purpose of a male orgasm.
The Most Reverend Maggie Rowe, Roman Catholic Bishop, Bridgeport, CT says:
“It’s virtually another entity that would be thinking on its own—apart from any procreative instincts. That in itself is a false God. We would be giving these men false Gods between their legs—and saying “It’s okay! Make your own decisions!”
Rowe’s last sentence cannot be overstated. When men have the freedom and ability to make their own decisions, we as a nation put ourselves at risk. Think about it: once they start to enjoy the benefits of having a penis, they will decide they need equal pay and condoms to be covered on their insurance plans. And what will that make them? SLUTS, that’s what! Prostitutes. They want ME, a woman and a taxpayer to pay for their bedroom activities. This is simply outrageous.
Jonathan Nail, Concerned Citizen and Penile Rights Advocate, asks the question: “Where are the men? There are no men representing the tens of millions across the country, who want and NEED basic penile healthcare—including family planning and sexual freedom!”
“The ability of a man to enjoy a penis guilt free is something that I believe the taxpayers should be taxed for.” says Dr. Gary Stockdale of Columbia University.
The accompanying video by Katie Schwartz provides a record of a hearing conducted by a panel of women discussing the idea of men having their penises covered by Obamacare. Dr. Becky Thyre, a moral philosopher, makes a valid point. She asks the panel, “What has it caused us to do today as we sit around this table? What is foremost in our minds? A penis. I myself have lost my concentration several times during this hearing because all I was thinking about was penis. A penis in my head.”
After viewing this conversation, I admit to having a penis in my head now too and I feel dirty. Give a man a penis and witness the destruction of everything. This is not a time to be complacent. I refuse to pay for a man’s orgasm and so should you!

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